REVIEW: The Davefather vs. Sex Tape

There is one truly funny scene in Sex Tape and it happens right at the beginning of the film.  We are introduced to Annie (Cameron Diaz) and Jay (Jason Segel) as a young couple who quickly fell in love with each other, through a blog that Annie is writing. The funny scene happens when Annie is talking about how Jay used to always get boners over the littlest things. She mentions how sometimes it felt like Jay’s boner knew she was there even before she was actually there, and we cut to Jay sitting in a library, as he gets a boner out of know where and looks around and says “Annie?” only for Annie to walk out a couple seconds later. That was a funny joke!

Unfortunately the rest of Sex Tape is one of the least funny comedies I have seen in many a moon. It takes what is a great idea on paper, and takes in all the wrong and pointless directions, that make for a movie going experience that is close to torture. You just sit and watch in amazement as the film goes on the less funny it gets.

The story is a simple, Annie and Jay have been married for a good length now and have 2 kids, and their sex life is lacking because of it. So one night after Annie gets what she hopes will be an excellent career opportunity, she makes plans to sent the kids to her mom’s and spent the night with Jay. One the time comes they just can’t figure out how to get the magic back. So they make a sex tape, with them trying every single move in “The Joy of Sex” book. Jay films it on his iPad and forgets to erase it and the next day it syncs to his cloud and all his friends, family and mailman’s iPad’s. How you ask, well it seems Jay works at a job that provides him with two new iPads pretty much on a weekly basis and he gives the used ones away as gifts.

That is all fine and dandy and with a better screenplay that could be a great concept for a funny movie. Instead we get writers who seem to have no idea whatsoever to do with this idea and just decided to toss darts at a comedy cliche board and run with the idea it lands on.

For example, the film spends about 20% of its running length at the house of the guy (Rob Lowe) Annie is trying to get hired for, because of course she gave him and iPad.  While there we gets scenes of Annie snorting coke (HO HO!), Jay getting in a fight with a dog, who can magically open doors (HO HO HO!) and their neighbors (Robb Corddry and Elle Kemper) having sex in the van, while they are waiting (A EXTRA LONG TIME) for Jay and Annie to come back (HO HO HO HO).  I have no doubt all of those scenes could work, but they are handled so over the top stupid, it just leaves you cringing the entire time.

Another major issue with this film is the dialogue, which I am certain no human in history has ever talked the way these moronic characters talk. A perfect example is when Diaz and Lowe are standing at the front door of Lowe’s house and Segel comes running to them, cut and bleeding, with the dog still chasing him. After Lowe settles the dog down he asks Segel “What the hell happened to you”. Um did you not just see the DOG that was clearly chasing him! Oh I’m sorry it must have been wearing Harry Potters invisible cloak!

Everybody in this film is truly awful (including a DREADFUL cameo from Jack Black), but Camera Diaz reaches a level of awfulness that few actors will ever reach in their careers. Diaz is a talented actress and we have seen her give some solid performances and many of films over the years. Nothing can prepare you for how dreadful she is in his film! She is always giving this goofy reaction shots that make absolutely no sense to the scene that is taking place. This is a performance that needs to be seen to be believed! You might as well engrave that Razzie right now!

I was getting worried that Deliver Us From Evil was going to take the cake as the worst movie of the summer, because it has no place being a summer movie, making it rather unfair. My worries were laid to rest, because Sex Tape is a truly god awful film that is easily the worst film of the summer of 2014.

If I see anything worse I may just quit reviewing movies!

Grade –  D-

About Dave Bril
I am just a simple man who loves to watch movies, be them good or bad, I just simply enjoy the thrill of watching a movie on the big screen.

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