REVIEW: The Davefather vs. Transformers: Age of Extinction

Nothing over the last 10 years in the movies has baffled me more than, the success of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies. Sure I can understand the first one making a boat load of money, because we were finally getting a live action movie of a beloved childhood classic. However considering how truly dreadful Transformers was (Grade F ) I was totally stunned that Transformers Revenge of the Fallen (Grade F) was able to still make a boat load of money!  I though for sure after two positively horrid films Transformers Dark of the Moon (Grade F) would finally see the series take a dive … and it did but not by much. All 3 of these films have made over $300 million and I have no doubt that Age of Extinction will continue that trend.

I mean, it has all the same elements as the last three: horrible acting, special effects overload, lame jokes (though toned down this time) and fight scenes that go on FOREVER! Factor that in with the fresh face of Mark Walhberg and finally including Dinobots, I am betting that Transformers: Age of Extinction will be the biggest movie of the summer and give Mockingjay part 1 a run for highest grossing of the year. Despite the fact that it is easily one of the worst movies of the year!

At nearly 3 hours in length, sitting through Transformers: Age of Extinction is a chore to say the least. No action movie should ever be that length and Age of Extinction is the perfect example of why. The plot is all over the place containing four different stories lines that play out over the length of the film.  The action scenes go on and on, including a final battle that I kid you not lasts about an hour and 15 mins!

I will give credit were it is due though and say that one of the reasons I detested the other three films was the over the top hammy jokes that litter the film, Bay wisely cuts those down to just a couple moments and that makes this the best Transformers movie to date … not that, that is saying much.

The main story takes place 5 years after the “epic” battle that ended Transfers Dark of the Moon, which is consider the great battle of Chicago now and is a sore spot for the many humans that lost their lives during the clash of the titans. Transformers are now outlawed and hunted and destroyed on site, both the good and the bad.  Even though the government has manged to round up the majority of the machines, they still can’t find Optimus Prime.  The black ops division of the government which is headed by Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammar) who is working with a powerful Transformer named Lock Down to find the bots. Attinger has also struck a deal with billionaire Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci) an inventor who has found a way to create his very own, much better Transformers. He has been working on a machine called  Galvatron who is bascially a white version of Megatron.

Meanwhile we are introduced to Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) and his teenage daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz), who have managed to find Optimums Prime in a abandoned movie theater.  Cade a mechanic and inventor himself, helps put back the battle ravaged Prime back in fighting shape, before the government can find him.   We also have a sub plot involving the last 4 remaining Transformers, Bumble Bee, Hound a cigar smoking, Rambo like bot, Crosshairs a full of himself young buck bot and Drift a Samurai like bot, who are trying to avoid being captured while waiting for their leader to return.

The fact that I haven’t mentioned anything about the Dinobots might make you ponder, well the fact is that they do not appear till literally the last 15 mins of the movie and though they look cool, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Michael Bay was trying to remake Jurassic Park!  As with the Dinobots, the special effects are fantastic in this film, as they have been in all the Transformers films, but it is just overload, as every scene of the movie has some form of CGI in it.  Another thing I can give credit to Bay for this time around is the fact that the fight scenes, for the most part are not to hard to follow, as they were in the previous 3 films, but once again its just overkill.

As far as the acting goes, it is basically non existent and hardly matters here. Wahlberg is much better then Labeouf, but there really isn’t much for him to do, other then looking macho as he somehow is able to use a Transformers sword as a weapon.  Kelsey Grammar is in full ham mood here and his acting is laughable over the top here.  The one bright spot is Stanley Tucci who is the only character with a change to matter in this film and he does his best to make us care, through the dreck.

The major issue with this Transformers movie is its length and the fact that over the 3 hour period absolutely nothing happens, and scenes are just repeated over and over again. Trim this film down to an hour and a half and at least you would just have a bad film, not an act in torture !  I am tired of these big, dumb, loud and boring Transformers movies.  This is suppose to be the start of a new trilogy in the Transformers series which means that Transformers 5 is on its way.  I wish that Michael Bay would just step aside an allow a master like Spielberg take a crack at making a Transformers movie that will not just be a giant version of a 5 year old playing with his toys, filmed into an overstuffed movie.

Transformers: Age of Extinction is indeed the best Transformers movie to date and it is the only one I haven’t given an F, but that doesn’t mean that it gets anything right.  Its mindless dreck, made to assume the 14 year old in all of us, with no substance and dollar signs in the eyes.  Its the kind of summer movie I just dread watching each year, thinking that 3 hours of just no stop action, makes for an enjoyable time at the movies.  Please add some substance next time around, get a new director to take it in a new direction and for the love of god stop only making Transformers movies with the idea of taking our 17 dollars and laughing to the bank.  Transformers: Age of Extinction is one of 2014 worst movies!

Grade –  D

About Dave Bril 227 Articles
I am just a simple man who loves to watch movies, be them good or bad, I just simply enjoy the thrill of watching a movie on the big screen.

2 Comments

  1. Come now, Davefather, everyone knows the Transformers films are among the greatest motion pictures ever made (ever).

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